Why Don't You Marry It?

March 7, 2018

“You are cordially invited
To the wedding of
Mr. David A. Romero
And Mrs. Macaroni and Cheese-
Romero

Please RSVP
Services will be held this July in Newport Beach.”

 

It will be a sunny day
On those sand-kissed shores
Where azure blue skies 
Will kiss deep blue waters
Black fold-out chairs 
Filled with friends
Family
And fans
So many will be in attendance
No
Not for me 
But for those who have loved
Still love
And will always love
Mac and Cheese
I will wear a tuxedo 
My spiked hair tousled by the wind
Carrying the ocean's breeze
I will stand on that shore
Underneath an arch filled with flowers
Sunburnt
Smiling 
Squinting
Unbelievably happy
The organ player will strike the keys
Here comes the bride all dressed in white
A large white bowl
Filled with my love
She will be golden and glowing
Hot and steaming
Cheesy and voluptuous
The Mac and Cheese I adore
She will be brought out by the flower girls /
Maids of honor
After all
This was their idea
When one day my niece Larissa said, 
“I really like Mac and Cheese”
And I said,
“Well, I love it!”
And my niece Kaelyn asked,
“Why don't you marry it?”
Right then and there
I raised a bowl of Mac and Cheese
Pressed the porcelain against my cheek
And I asked her so earnestly,
“Mac and Cheese
Will you marry me?”
And wouldn't you know it

A glob of cheese dripped onto my forehead
She said yes!
All my of my friends were so impressed
Mac and Cheese and I

Received boxes of "Congrats"
But not everyone could understand
Some said,
"Dave
You are marrying an inanimate object
Dave
You are mocking the institution of marriage"
So many doubters
If they only knew
Our love so true
Her orange hue 
Chasing away my blues
And on that day we give our vows
I will say,
"Mac and Cheese
I promise to love 
And eat you all the days of my life"
And she will respond in elegant silence
One of my cousins will start crying
The justice of the peace will say,
“You may now eat your bride”
I will use my fork to dig in
And will consider myself very fortunate
Because while many have claimed to have loved Mac and Cheese
Over the years
It was only I

Who could finally marry her.

 

 

 

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